When we find ourselves in the midst of an emotional crisis, nothing seems to make much sense. It may feel like our lives are shattering before our eyes with long buried emotions coming up in a flood of memories and bodily responses. We stand at a threshold, literally creating our own madness to birth a new way.
What am I going to do?
What is happening to me?
You may be entering an initiation- an awakening called a spiritual emergency. "The experiential spectrum of spiritual emergencies is extremely rich: it involves intense emotions, visions and other changes of perception and unusual thought processes, as well as a variety of symptoms ranging from tremors to feelings of suffocation." - Dr. Stanislav Grof, author of Spiritual Emergency.
All spiritual traditions have at their core some form of vision quest- a confinement that honors an ego's death. In these traditions this spiritual quest may unfold through a 40 days, 40 nights period. . .where, like Christ, we are asked to go into the desert within to confront one's inner demons- our shadow. Jesus did it, Buddha did it- along with many other spiritual avatars.
In our society we do not honor this spirit call. We tend to shove the energy away, acting as if nothing was wrong and everything is right, until the forces- internal and external literally seek to push our walls down, a time of rendering. Some go out and medicate themselves through busyness and/or a myriad of addictions that do not serve the spiritual, mental, physical and emotional bodies. No matter what faith we are all asked at some point to make this journey, especially at this time, on this planet. It is an initiatory event this soul call. It is completely normal and needs to be celebrated.
 This may be what is learning you right now, at this very moment. So I ask you to celebrate it by acknowledging the unknown in your life. In support call your guardian angel to you, call the archangels- ask for Michael, Raphael, Gabriel and Uriel to surround and guide you. Stand in the center of their loving support and breath. Go to a quiet place and state a prayer that gives you comfort. Or just ask for the angels support and guidance. Spirit cannot help if you if you do not ask. For these times I have found that a long distant healing is extremely helpful. Christ said "Ask, and ye shall receive. Knock and the door will open."
Shelia called me her voice in a panic "I have to get the Prozac, I am heading for the Doctor's to pick up the prescription now. I can not figure out what is going on."
"Have you been in this place before?"
She thought for a long moment and said "Uh, yes, right after my divorce. That again. I am so angry with myself and tired of being this way. This morning I snapped and realized I am depressed and nothing I do seems to be working."
"Go pick up the prescription so you have it in hand. Then come in and let's talk about what's happening. What can we do together to see you through this time that will be different."
Shelia went through psychotherapy after her divorce. She went through counseling in the 80's. She knows her psyche well enough to recognize her symptoms and she has sat in sacred circle with our group for six months working the shamanic path.
Through a series of shamanic journeys Shelia and I worked together to uncover what was at the core of this awakening. It involved a soul retrieval, an extraction healing and a series of journeys, rituals and art that Shelia created to acknowledge, honor and birth this new energy. Shelia was undergoing a spiritual emergency, an awakening to new soul energy that wanted a voice in her life. In the past ignoring her heart's longing turned into a depression which she sought medication for. This time, she was present. It took 40 days and 40 nights of exploring both the light and the dark side of her nature. In the end her energy was renewed and restored. Within 60 days her life shifted by accessing her Greater story and moving to a profound place of forgiveness for herself and those she loved.
So I invite you to look at this time in your life.
What are your deepest fears?
What are your deepest longings?
They are one and the same expression. If you are faced with these forces, its time to ground. It is a time to trust. Spend time in nature. Plant a garden, pull a weed. Walk your dog. Feed your cat. Do little things to help birth this new energy.
In my own process I scrubbed our mexican tile floor for days, the task served me well.
Take especially good care of yourself, and your body. Reach out by calling family and friends who will support you. Get help. Look for the light in yourself and your day.
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